Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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