You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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