when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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