im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Houston, we have a blender
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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