I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
