with your own penis?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
