tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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