dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
