I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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