he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize