Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
