i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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