Sponge bath it is.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
