smell my finger.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
