I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
