If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
