After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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