you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
grandma shit on top of the toilet
this beer tastes like vomit already
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
