i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
