Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
