Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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