She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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