im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
