There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
