i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
