Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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