i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
