i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
