I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
