I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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