Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
