When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
