He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Liz is crying about burritos again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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