I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Less talking, more tequila
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
