Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
