This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
