This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
