Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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