just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
