I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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