Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
