My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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