On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
