Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
false alarm, still single
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