He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
