I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
