He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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