just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
