Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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