i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
