oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
