I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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