Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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