You smell like stripper and shame
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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