he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
