my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
