shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
