girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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