My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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