i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
