im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize